The Volcano Rumbles

At the time of my blogs inception, it was my intent to voice the good, the bad and the ugly daily goingons of my life. A way to reflect on and ponder my own simplistic and ever so ordinary life. That and the fact that my husband works nights and I have far too much free time in the evenings.

I generally allow myself to rant in very brief segments because it is way to easy to throw the sacrificial coconut of self pity into the mouth of the volcano.

The smell of toasted coconut comes from the bushel that I just threw in.......

I had the WORST day yesterday!!!

I had been officially awake for two days. Unable to sleep because my wrist is in a full blown RA flare. I have been in "sobbing on the couch" kind of pain. I was finally able to sneak in on a cancellation and get in to see my specialist. Trying to get the wrist brace off was an ordeal in itself. Her head shaking "wow" on examination told me this wasn't good. Her recommendation was for a cortisone shot. Fine I thought. I hate shots ( I am secretly terrified of them) but this pain is unbearable so you can stick needles in it or cut it off for all I care.

Numb it stuff is poke number one, cortisone is poke number two (or two through fifteen depending on the way you assessed the situation, ok I will count it as one) TB test for a new medication is poke number three, (which now that it has been "read" proves that I have never been exposed to TB). A beautiful Vietnamese vampire who over shot my blood vain and had to twirl the needle around a bit to fill her four vials is poke number four.

I have now been officially poked to death and I am ready to go home and continue my endless stream of quiet tears on my couch. Dramatic says you, choke on a macaroon says I. Thank goodness my mother took me and not my hubby this time, he hates needles as much as I do!

After stopping to get my prescription filled for the pain it was found that she wrote the wrong prescription and that the medication she intended to give me couldn't be called in to the pharmacy so I was going to have to stay in pain until someone could go back the following morning (because they were now closed) and pick it up and take it to the pharmacy for me. HELLO! DING! DING! DING! I WENT TO THE DOCTOR BECAUSE I WAS IN AN INSANE UNBEARABLE AMOUNT OF PAIN!!!! I really could have used that one little piece of my day to have gone off without a hitch.

I get home, my mother has taken my children to her house so that I can fall into bed. I have taken two more of the pain meds I had previously tried that weren't working in hopes that there would be some kind of build up factor and I might get even twenty minutes of relief for a tearfree nap.

I sit on my patio for a moment of fresh air to clear my head and examine the enormous bruise that was developing on my arm thanks to a nitwit of a vampire that calls herself a plobotomist or how ever the heck you spell it and someone calls desperately to me from the next building over.....

I am not at liberty to discuss the next part in great detail but I can say that living were you work has its down sides. No matter what you are going through there are urgent matters that need addressed especially when there are police involved with big guns. I found myself outside, in pain, drugged up on pain relievers, dealing with a crisis in the dark, in the rain for over an hour. Good thing it was really dark out or I think they would have asked what in the heck was wrong with me. "Oh nothing officer, my eyes are swelled shut from crying and the pain in my arm caused me to take twice the amount of codeine that I probably should have, glad that I can stand in the cold rain with you and do my civic duty."

The nice officers (actually there were more like amazing) did not want me staying in my apartment that evening for my safety until everything got straitened up (which it did) so I had to pack up my dogs and go to my mothers with a note for my husband to join me when he finally got home from work. Ever tried to do anything in a hurry with the use of one hand? Not to mention trying to kennel up two dogs! Thank goodness my Mother was close by to rescue me!!!! Needless to say I did not sleep that night either, day three here we come....

I have to pause and take a deep breathe at this point because to add insult to injury, at the doctors office, it was determined that I have to/need to start a new medication and it is given ::drum roll please:: by self injection.

"your kidding me right?" I asked her.
"this is our best course of action now considering how quickly things have progressed." she says.
::giant sigh of disbelief and frustrated sadness ensues::

Were is a good sized coconut to throw at someone's head when you need it?

Ok, so I will try to wind up this huge teary steamy cloud of a pity party. Instead of looking up at the volcano I will imagine that I am walking back down now that my coconuts are properly incinerated.

I know that Wednesday will be difficult but I will be just fine. I can hope that the new medication will do wonders for me. (oh, that is if it doesn't give me lymphoma in the mean time) I can hope that my next liver test will look better. I can hope that my hair loss will continue to stabilize. I can look forward to two weeks from now when I will begin to step down from the mega doses of prednisone that she put me on that makes me cranky and fat. I can be positive and know that things will look brighter in a few days after I have caught up on some sleep.

I can be positive for a lot BUT I DON'T HAVE TO EVER EVER BE HAPPY ABOUT GIVING MYSELF SHOTS!!!!! Am I being negative? Darn right I am, this is my dang blog and I created it to be happy and sad and CRANKY whenever I want too! Am I mad? YES. Am I tired? YES. Am I frusterated and sad? YES!!!!! and I am feeling the need to throw a coconut at something again...