Just one of those days...

Or two to be precise.

It all started innocently enough. Mother and children sitting at the table trying to get numerous school projects done that miraculously all appeared a day before they were due.

Between homework and dinner we had spilt juice, dropped a plate of food, B had gotten his liquid density science project (of numerous concoctions of water with household additives) glued over the table, chairs towels floors and me. Finally we were all done and I got the kitchen and kids cleaned up.

The kids were headed off to bed. Or so I thought.

Wait, B is starving to death and cant make it through the night without a snack and proceeds to explode a couple of tangerines all over himself to the point that his white t-shirt is now orange and he has to get into the shower for the second time that night. I literally had to pick a seed off his head. I don’t want to know how it happened. I was only in the bathroom for five minutes. These things are better off remaining a mystery in my book. Getting upset wont help. I take a deep breath and clean the table AGAIN.

Then I take a quick look into the pantry trying to decide what I would make for dinner the next evening and somehow I managed to make a full bottle of Newman’s best fat free Italian salad dressing fly off the pantry shelf, hit the counter, pop its top and explode all over the kitchen.

My dog really likes Italian salad dressing I found out.

Grrr…. Oh well, (find a happy place, find a happy place) these things happen. I am just tired with all the homework and such. I need to find a happy place and take a couple of deep cleansing breaths. I clean the kitchen; get the kids into bed for the second time. How is it that the nightly drink of water is ALWAYS forgotten? Our bedtime routine never changes. Is it some unspoken law of science? Are they doomed to parch in the night if they do not get up and get one last drink before drifting off to dreamland?

I think I am about done for the night. I am beginning to get a headache. I am glad that I mopped the floor even though I contemplated doing a quick paper towel wash down and mopping the next morning. Now I wont have to worry about it in the morning. Weeeee!!!

I have decided to have a beer, sit on the couch and pout for a bit before bed. I don’t particularly like beer but it is the only liquid in the house with alcohol content. I have realized that I am now grouchy. At who I don’t know but the grouchy bug has bitten. I walked to the fridge, grab a beer, flick the bottle opener into the sink and trip over my own stinking feet (or some unseen gremlin) and drop a full Miller Genuine Draft to the floor. It explodes. I had decided to put it in the freezer while I was cleaning up salad dressing. I have shattered glass and beer all over the walls, the ceiling, the cupboards, under the stove, under the fridge and oozing under the door of the pantry.

There is no happy place at a time like this. I cannot get a cleansing breath through my clenched teeth. There was also no one to rage at either. Shad was as work, the kids were in bed, and the dog was hiding under my clean blankets on my bed. It took me over an hour to clean the kitchen again. I pouted on my bed, dirty dog blankets and all.

It will all be better in the morning…

The day started off great. Shad and I got up early. Planted the nursery plants we had bought the morning before. Finished raking and then went to the local nursery and ordered a dump truck full of beauty bark. Shad had just enough time to shower and head off to work. I sat down and started to ice my feet. My plan was to take ten minutes icing my feet, take a quick shower and get ready to take B to his play date that evening and then go buy groceries if my feet held up.

I am in the process of getting in the shower and the phone rings. It is the school. T is in the nurse’s room. It is a situation that I will not discuss here but lets just say that I ended up carrying him out of the school naked wrapped in a flower blanket halfway over my shoulder with several sets of clothes in bio hazard bags. A lot of cleaning ensued. Child, clothes, truck, blankets, mom, floors. You name it and somehow it ended up in the damage path.

There goes B’s play date. He will just have to understand. That’s OK, I will make the best of it and put T on the couch with movies and B and I can take a few wheelbarrow loads of beauty bark into the back.

This is about the time a gust of wind hits the deck and blows the chairs all to one side. I hear a crack of thunder. I look up. I start laughing my head off. Hmmmm, if we hurry…..

I told my sis later that it went something like this:
Wheelbarrow, check
Shovels and rakes, check
Beauty bark, check
Gusty wind, Thunder and Lightning, Pouring Down Rain, check

Yep, all my moons and stars are aligned.

Crazy Laughter, check.

B and I do a quick five loads and rake it out. I have to stop here and say just how amazing my soon to be ten year old is. He is now old enough and strong enough to do the “man” work for his mother. He loaded the wheelbarrow, I wheeled, we emptied, he helped rake and then wheeled back. Talk about a super helper!!!! The neighbor from down the road comes to say hi and acknowledges how bad the weather is, what bad timing it is for me, and WOW how much work I have to do… How nice of him…. It’s a good thing that I really like the guy. It is now POURING down buckets of water and I give up and tell B and the dog to head for higher ground. I put things away and slowly climb the stairs babying my poor little feet while water pours down the back of my neck and my t-shirt is clinging to me in ways that are not desirable at my age. The rain doesn’t bother me actually. It’s kind of like a second shower and after what I went through with T a few hours earlier I could use a couple more.

I walk into the house to see clear dog and kid shoe prints in mud. From the back door, all the way through the living room, down the hall and into the bathroom. Then kid tracks stop and dog tracks take a nice ramble through my room. Did I mention that I washed dog stink off my bedding this morning?

The cupboards are empty. We have been busy and planning a massive grocery trip this evening but I will not be going to the grocery store. B is still pouting about the loss of his much anticipated play date but is really trying to keep his chin up. I think I will double his allowance this week for working his hiney off in the rain just to pacify his crazy mother. Let’s see, I have three cilantro tortilla shells, half a head of cabbage, a scallion, and some margarine in the fridge. I would buy us pizza but I used my last check today and thought I had another book and did not. It may be chicken noodle soup and a toasted tortilla shell for dinner, yea right…who am I kidding? That would not cover Brody’s snack needs. I cannot take T out in the car. It’s just too dangerous for my cars upholstery at this point.

So here I sit, trying to calm myself and not get grouchy again, (feeling that headache return) contemplating what I should do. Scavenge for food? Wash bedding? Steam clean mud prints off the floor? Wash the unmentionable laundry sitting in the garage in the bio hazard bags? Take a warm shower (again) and ward off the chill that I now have? Oh wait, B has just gotten into the shower. There goes that option.

I don’t know if I can clean anything else. My feet hurt and my hands are swollen and even though I did what had to be done my body is starting to hate me for it. Shad will scold me tomorrow I am sure, its always fun to try and hide your pain so that you dont get in trouble. T is frustrated and hungry, he hurts everywhere and let’s face it, he is severely humiliated.

Cleaning can wait. His movie is about to end and I think he needs a mommy snuggle or maybe mommy needs a kid snuggle….It will all be better tomorrow.