Poor Poor Pitiful Me...

This is how I was feeling for the last week. My closest friends have listened to me whine and cry but I want you to know that I am officially "over it."

Let's recap for a second and then I will tell you my profound obervation about my life.

1) I have severe RA
2) I have lost a lot of hair due to medication
3) My Liver is going wacky because of the meds
4) The high steroids are making me gain A LOT of weight
5) As a self declared needle-phobic, I must have self injections
6) I recently had very painful and messy sinus surgery
7) My neighbors hate our dogs and are causing me tremendous undue stress
8) MRI's have shown that the bones in my feet are already degenerating
9) The joints in my hands are deteriorating
10) I have been told that by "midlife" I will probably be in a wheel chair
11) My left upper sinus passage collapsed and I have to go back in February for a graft to fix it.
12) My hands hurt so bad that I can barley hold a book anymore to read which is my favorite pastime much less grate cheese or any number of cooking tasks and I love to cook
13) I am fatigued to the point of tears about 50% of the time.
14) I have been instructed that I can no longer use my treadmill or take long walks.

Ok, so obviously I have been through a few things this year that could allow me a little self pity from time to time. Keeping my "chin up" has been harder as of late. Realizing that I may not get to do all of the things with my children and husband that I was looking forward to doing as they got older has really been what's bugging me the most. Can my life be modified? Sure. Is it ok to be sad for a bit because it has to be modified? Yes. That is what the last couple of weeks have been and I realize that it will probably happen again from time to time.

So on to my profound observation while looking at the list above........

"So What"

1) I don't have a life ending form of cancer
2) Wigs are not nearly as itchy as they use to be
3) At least my Liver is still working
4) I have a real SOLID reason to make myself stick to a healthy diet
5) My husband has agreed to give me my injections
6) At least I can breathe out of half of my nose like I am suppose too
7) Most problems can be solved eventually
8) Walking Canes have needed updating for a long time, I am thinking tortoise shell with a crystal swaorski handle
9) At least my hands are still working 75% of the time.
10) I have just enough spunk left in me to fight a wheelchair until the bitter end. Then I will deck it out in a fashion fit for a queen and hire a cute pool boy to push me around.
11) In February I will be able to breathe through both sides of my nose
12) I will find other passionate hobbies that are not as painful. Or I will do the ones I love for shorter lengths of time.
13) At least I can do what must be done. My kids are fed and wearing clean clothing.
14) I will sell the treadmill and buy something really really cool!

Some things are out of my control. Giving up that feeling of control can be difficult because resisting is human nature. Letting go allows me to move forward. Change will teach me a lot about myself. Pushing past my limits is called growth. Learning to live with my limitations is how I gain control over them. My fear is what will limit me the most. I will learn to let go of my fears. Things happen; there isn't always an answer to the question "why." Sometimes I will just have to find the courage to go with the flow.

Busy busy

I know it's been forever since I have posted but the last couple of weeks have been busy beyond belief. I have had more doctors appointments than I can count, many school functions and a heartbreaking computer issue that turned out all right in the end.

On that last note; Learn from my gigantic enormous mistake. Do not get lazy in backing up your digital pictures. I had over five thousand digital memories stored on a USB mass storage device that decided to poop out on me. I was able to recover over 90 percent of the files (Thank you Troy for the link to the fantastic "Recover My Files" software) but it took four days and hard cash to fix my error. I sobbed when it happened and cried when I got it back. If your pictures are irreplaceable and priceless to you then BACK THEM UP ONTO CD!!!! It is a heartwrenching feeling when you think they are gone. BUT if you make the mistake of not doing so and you think they are deleted or your drive accidentally gets reformatted google "recover my files" they let you download a trial version of the software to see what can be recovered before you have to pay $70.00 to buy the program. The only issue was that I did not have enough hard drive space on my main computer to save them (you cant recover and save to the same drive)so I ended up having to buy a second USB storage device. Anyway, it all worked out in the end. Now I will have to go and buy two hundred CD's and have a back up party!!!! It's just easier to back them up as you go along.

Oh No! I was abducted by the Quiz gnomes

I was gifted this little link from another's friends site and hate to admit that I spent the next twenty minutes filling out little inconsequential quizzes. If you have a little time to spare you should try it. It is pure goofy fun! I just may have to add another one of these from time to time. Defiantly a good way to NOT take yourself to seriously. Shad's going to chuckle at the cookie one. Gotta run, I need to go find out what flavor of Ben and Jerry's I would be.....


What Color of Green Are you?

You Are Teal Green

You are a one of a kind, original person. There's no one even close to being like you. Expressive and creative, you have a knack for making the impossible possible. While you are a bit offbeat, you don't scare people away with your quirks. Your warm personality nicely counteracts and strange habits you may have.

What Color Green Are You?

What type of Coffee are you?

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping Your caffeine addiction level: high

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

How is your inner child?

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

What kind of cookie are you?

You Are a Jam Cookie

On the outside, you project a straight-laced, innocent vibe. But on the inside, you're complex, exotic, and full of flavor.

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

What Gender is your brain?

Your Brain is 87% Female, 13% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl Which isn't a bad thing at all You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions. You're a good friend and give great advice.

What Gender Is Your Brain?

What I did this Weekend!

It's amazing what a couple of gallons of paint, a little glaze and some creative sewing can do. Our boring little white box of a bedroom now has soft color and a warm and snuggly feel. I still have to put the chair rail up and finish the trim but it's a great start. I am highly motivated to start painting the rest of the house now. Shad went to work Saturday morning and came home to find a whole new room! Good thing he really likes it. I promised that it wouldn't be too feminine. He has lived in a bedroom of flowers for the last ten years so he deserves a more "masculine" and contemporary room. I think this was an acceptable compromise and fortunately so did he! Yea! Our first weekend warrior project nears completion!!!

Before -


After -